Halocrab here, And I've got some jokes from "Readers' Digest" that may brighten up your day or give you a smile.
1: Headline news: Energizer bunny in jail, Charged with Battery.
2: Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa.
3: A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help notice how happy you look," She said. "What's your secret for a long and happy life?" "I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," The woman said. "How old are you?" "Twenty six."
4: The farmer takes a shortcut through his orchard to a nearby pond, carrying a bucket to bring back some fruit. Once he gets to the pond, he sees two girls skinny dipping. They see him and immediately drop below the water. "We're not coming out until you leave!" One of the girls shouts. "I didn't come to watch you swim naked," Says the farmer. "I'm here to feed the gators."
5: A computer geek is crossing the road when he sees a frog who opens its mouth and starts talking. "If you kiss me," the frog says, "I'll turn into a beautiful princess, stay with you for a week, and do whatever you want." The guy smiles and puts the frog in his pocket. "Did you hear me?" asks the frog. "A beautiful princess? For a week?" "Look," says the nerd. "I haven't got time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog-Now that's cool."
6: Did you hear about the paranoid dyslexic? He always thought he was following someone.
7: A young boy is lost in a mall. He runs over to a police officer. "I've lost my dad!" he said. "What's he like?" the cop asked. "Baseball and chicken wings."
Well, I'll save more jokes for another day. Soyonara!
