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Due to "creative differences" our very favorite soap opera was postponed from LAST issue to THIS issue. Hey, there is nothing wrong a lil' suspense, right? Anywhoo, I think it would be best do to a very quick recap before we get into the dirty details.
We left off when Danielle and Rochellina were sickened by Chris and Professor VonSucram's love for another; Danielle and Rochellina conducted an evil plan to KILL *gasp*, that is right, KILL *more gasps* Professor by throwing her down the elevator shaft! Little did they know, there was another person WATCHING them named Lynda Sudpole. After Lynda threatened to report them to the City Workers and write a hard hitting article about their wrong-doings, Chris, Danielle, and Rochellina captured her so she would never reveal their secret. We left off as the evil trio finally conducted a plan to get rid of Ms. Sudpole.
BONK! With Rochellina's good ol' trusty 9,999,999 Pound weight she carries in her back pocket, Lynda was squished and unconscious, however, they still needed a place to stash her. As a light bulb went off in Chris's head, they scurried with the limp AND squished body-er-head. (By the way: anybody want to give Rochellina a manicure . . . and some spelling lessons?)
Perfect! That girl ALWAYS does crazy things to her hair; people would never think that Lynda was captured and brought there against her will, they would just think she was some sort of hair accessory . . . I mean, GREEN HIGHLIGHTS? (Sorry, Chris) Anyway, I suppose I should stop talking about hair; this "article" is in the Entertainment section, not the Fashion section. Moving on . . . the trio traveled around Whyville looking for clues and furthermore, the culprit who altered all of Whyville! After hours and hours, they came across the most amazing clue of all!
You are REALLY wondering what is inside that letter, aren't you, AREN'T YOU?! Well, lucky for you, I have the letter in my very hands, in a matter of fact I will recite exactly what the letter says *clears throat* :
Dear Danielle Pooperson, Rochellina Ditzyburg, and Chris Crocker:
We could not, would not, and should not even fathom the amount of hard work you put in on solving this case. Well, young ones, we have been watching you . . . creeped out? Well, you should be! Every single sound you have made these past few issues of the Times has slipped in our ears, every single movement you have done these past few issues of the Times has passed our eyes, every single stench (We are addressing YOU, Chris) that has escaped your armpit these past few issues of the Times has corroded our noses, and as you are sitting there, your hands trembling, as you read this letter, we are laughing. With each clue you found, it brought us misery; you are ruining everything and you MUST be destroyed for the sake of our own happiness. Meet us, the cause of this BETTER Whyville, at 4:00 P.M. SHARP tomorrow at the Mall Fountain to see who we are once and for all. After we reveal our faces, we will put your names to shame and ban your very accounts -- you will NEVER be able to get on Whyville again. Chao, baby, chao.
Sincerely,
Guess Who! (:
Amazed? I sure am! Next episode, THE SEASON FINALE! Girls, get your dresses on, guys put on your tuxedos because we are having the BIGGEST, BADDEST premiere party of them all NEXT EPISODE on our season finale where are all questions will be answered and all mysteries will be unveiled.
Before I depart, Rochellina has a few words of wisdom she would like to share with you all in response to the letter: "Tee-hee! Danielle's last name is POOPERSON!"
Real insightful, Rochellina, real insightful . . . TILL NEXT TIME, Ushersg saying DUNDUNDUN for the second to last time!
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