9:50am: Friday, December 21, 2007. I was in Video Broadcasting, sitting at my table, staring at a cake that looked like Bruster's threw up in it. It wasn't your average cake. It was a chocolate cake, with a pound of pink icing, gummy worms, M&M's, peanut butter, caramel, chocolate sauce, nuts and everything else that you would put on an ice cream sundae. My entire table (me, Amy, Carl, Alex and Spenser) were sitting that at our rectangle table staring at this cake with our mouths wide open, literally hitting the table top.
Wondering what was happening, Matt and Rob came over to the table and picked up the cake in its plastic shell. They tossed it back and forth and then put it back on the table as they grabbed a chair and sat down. This would be the part where I would talk/laugh really loudly (and play with my hair), just so Matt would notice me. He did, apparently, because he was practically drooling.
My Video Broadcasting teacher popped Finding Nemo in the DVD player and as we watched it, Amy and I ate chocolate and cookies, still staring at the cake, not daring to take a bite.
After the bell to release us from class went off, I continued to Web Page Design, then Math (where we at the cake) and then Biology to finish final exams (excuse me, "Benchmark Assessments"). After the day ended, I went home via the bus and fell getting off. (If you haven't noticed, I'm not the most balanced and coordinated person in the world) I spent the night at my friend, Katelynn's, and then went to the outlet mall with her Saturday afternoon.
10:00pm: Saturday, December 22, 2007. Now I was sitting in bed, wearing my pajamas, drinking water from a Hard Rock Cafe cup and reading "Twilight". My parents were downstairs wrapping presents and my sister and brother were asleep. I was tired and about to fall asleep, but something kept me awake.
I then remembered that I needed to send my friend (Jay) a message telling him something, so I logged into Facebook from my phone and read the status updated. (Yeah, I'm addicted to them). When I was reading them, I came across Matt's:
Matt is wondering if anybody could ask for a better Christmas present.
Yeah, I didn't know what he was talking about, nor did I care at that particular moment. "Twilight" had starting getting, well, intense, and I wanted to send the message to Jay so I could get back to reading the book. I sent him the message and then at the bottom of the tiny phone screen I saw this:
Matt is listed as in a relationship with Rebecca C.
Right after he sat in Video Broadcasting, practically DROOLING, he was going out with his best friend. Becca, Rebecca, whatever he called her, she was his best friend and they were going out.
When I read that, I started shaking. This had never happened to me before, so I didn't know what do to. I partially blamed myself, because if I had the courage two months ago to start actually talking to him like I did a couple of weeks ago, that might have been me in that update.
I got on MSN messenger and told Mel was happened. In between all of her "im sorry's" I kept asking myself, "Why? Why me?" I knew that he liked me. I mean, why else would he drool over me and flirt with me all the time?
I didn't (and still don't) know what to say. I don't know what to do. Ironically, we're on Facebook at the exact same times, and reading his status updates make me want to . . . I don't even know what . . . because they're all flirt-sy with Becca.
You aren't supposed to date your best friend.
I don't even know her and I don't like her, but I won't become jealous of her.
My iPod keeps playing all these songs about dating and breaking up and MTV and Vh1 keeps playing "I Love New York 2" and "A Shot At Love" over and over and over again.
I feel like part of me is gone and won't come back.
But it's okay.
Because he's dead to me.
This is Kaila, going to play her new Wii
(If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar . . .)
Author's Note: Just so you know, I wasn't ever going out with Matt or, apparently, even close to. I'm also not in love with him, because I know that if I don't say that, then I'll get some kind of message like: "omgz ur 15 n in luv?" or something of that nature. But I'm not, so don't even ask. By the way, I'm still not back . . . I need to balance my life out still. I'll be back soon, I promise!
