Vancyon here! This week for "Eh! The Canada Column", we've fired rochrox, so I'm here writing about Nova Scotia.
rochrox: VANCYON?! What are you doing in MY column?
Vancyon: I'm writing about Nova Scotia.
rochrox: Well this is my column, so get out! Well, actually, I guess you could stay. But just this once!
Vancyon: We're going to start by talking about Upper ---
rochrox: No, we're going to start with Halifax. In Halifa ---
Vancyon: *starts yelling over rochrox* UPPER CLEMENTS IS AN AMUSMENT PAR ---
rochrox: *yells lounder* AS I WAS SAYING WITHOUT THIS SNOB, HALIFAX IS THE CAPITAL CITY OF NOVA SCOT ---
Vancyon: *now screaming* AS I WAS SAYING, UPPER CLEMENTS IS AN AMUSEMENT PARK! THEY HAVE THIS BIG FLUM ---
rochrox: I don't think this is going to work out too well.
Vancyon: No, it's not. But now that you're acting maturely, I can talk about Upper Clemen ---
rochrox: I don't think so. That is NOT the logical order. I bet they don't even know where Nova Scotia IS!
Vancyon: Who's stupid enough to NOT know where Nova Scotia is . . .
rochrox: Vancyon . . .
Vancyon: I mean, Nova Scotia is just the BEST province, how could anyone NOT know where . . .
rochrox: VANCYON!
Vancyon: Nova Scotia is! WHAT?!
rochrox: I really don't think they know where it is.
Vancyon: Oh . . . uh . . .
rochrox: How about we show them a map?
Vancyon: A map! Right. Ya . . . good idea . . . let's show them a map . . .
Vancyon: Now that THAT'S cleared up, how about we talk about some geography?
rochrox: *sighs* Whatever! Let's start by talking about HALIFAX!
Vancyon: Halifax covers about 10% of Nova Scotia . . .
rochrox: and it's located on the coast.
Vancyon: Well, that's enough about Halifax, time to talk about Keji!
rochrox: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down! We haven't even told them that Halifax is the capital of Nova Scotia!
Vancyon: Well, now that you've told them, we can move on to Keji!
rochrox: Ok, fine. What is Keji anyways?
Vancyon: Keji is short for Kejimkujik.
rochrox: Care to elaborate?
Vancyon: Well, you see, Ms. Urban, Kejimkujik is both a National Historic Site and National Park, Perhaps the only place in Canada that's both. Keji is also the only inland national park in the maritimes!
rochrox: Ok, then if know so much about this Keji place, tell us about it.
Vancyon: Although Keji has only an area of 404 km, it has more then 5 main beaches, lots of programs, and an outdoor theatre. It has beautiful trails, and is home to the endangered piping plover. Other endangered species in Keji include the southern flying squirrel, the ribbon snake, and the blandings turtle.
rochrox: Fine, so you know a little bit about this place. I bet you didn't know about the Seaside Adjunct though! It's a long stretch of coast covered in white, sandy beaches, and was carved by glaciers thousands of years ago.
Vancyon: Actually, I did know that ;)
rochrox: Well than smarty pants how about we talk about the Cape Breton Highlands?
Vancyon: Why bother? It's basically the same as Keji. I mean, there's outdoor programs, canoeing, kayaking, camping, etc.
rochrox: :P Whatever. They're probably getting sick of all this geography anyways. How about some pop culture?
Vancyon: :O How can you be sick of GEOGRAPHY?! But I guess now would be a good time to talk about the Tattoo.
rochrox: The tattoo? You mean now you WANT to talk about Halifax again? Make up your mind!
Vancyon: NOW looks who's not talking in the logical order? You've got everyone wondering what a tattoo has to do with Halifax.
rochrox: Well didn't you just do a fabulous job of explaining it to them? For those of you wondering, the Tattoo in Halifax is actually an international arts festival. Every year, performers from Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Ireland, England, the US and other countries around the world come to Nova Scotia to participate in the Tattoo, for others to watch.
Vancyon: *Yawn* You know, this is kinda boring . . . maybe we should talk about POLITICS!
rochrox: YA RIGHT! Just because YOU'RE bored doesn't mean we should bore the rest of them!
Vancyon: I'm serious *blushes*
rochrox: You mean you actually LIKE poitics? Gosh Vancyon, I always knew you were a bit of an odd duck, but politics? You must be related to some politician.
Vancyon: Actually, *makes lying face* I'm related to Bill Dooks!
rochrox: Dill Books? Who's that?
Vancyon: Not up on our politics now are we? Bill Dooks is Nova Scotia's minister of tourism, culture, and heritage.
rochrox: And he's a Nova Scotian?
Vancyon: Yup, he's a bluenoser.
rochrox: Speaking of bluenosers, why don't we talk about the blueno --
Vancyon: HEY! We're talking politics now, remember?
rochrox: Well maybe some people think politics is boring!
Vancyon: Well maybe some people should try to stay on topic! We'll get to the blueno --
rochrox: SHH! All in good time Vancyon! Right now we're talking politics! Remember? ;)
Vancyon: Oh aren't you clever!
rochrox: Why yes I am. And hah! I tricked you!
Vancyon: What?! You didn't trick me!
rochox: Did too!
Vancyon: Did not!
rochrox: Did too!
Vancyon: Did not!
rochrox: Did too!
Vancyon: Did not!
rochrox: Did not!
Vancyon: Did too! *Heh heh* Oops . . .
rochrox: Hah! I got you that time! So, uh, what were we talking about before we got into this argument?
Vancyon: Me.
rochrox: Why would we want to talk about you?
Vancyon: Because I'm amazing.
rochrox: *raises eyebrow* Mhmm . . . Anyways, we should probably get back to *yawn* politics.
Vancyon: You know what, I'm getting bored of politics. Nova Scotia's provincial government is basically the same as the rest of Canada's.
rochrox: Well then Vancyon, since this is your column and everything, I guess you just get to call the shots and decide what we talk about.
Vancyon: That's more like it! Well, I guess it's time to talk about Upp --
rochrox: Hold it right there!
Vancyon: Did you have a traumatic childhood experience with an amusement park or somethi --
rochrox: I have an idea! How about we MOVE ON an talk about ANYTHING but amusement par --
Vancyon: So the only reason you don't want to talk about Upper Clements is because it was MY amazing idea, and now you don't know what to write about.
rochrox: Wha --
Vancyon: HAH! I knew it. But then again, I do know everything. So how about now we start telling everyone about Upp --
rochrox: YOU'RE FIRED!
Vancyon: *Bottom lip trembles* Bu, bu, bubububu, but I DON'T WANNA BE FIRED!!!! OOOH IMA EATCHU.
rochrox: Vancyon! Snap out of it! Maybe if you read the script you'd know that we WILL be talking about Upper Clements AFTER we talk about some pop culture!
Vancyon: What script?
rochrox: The script. You're saying you don't know about the script?
Vancyon: What do you mean! Of course I know about the script. Gosh, who doesn't know about t --
rochrox: Vanc --
Vancyon: Who doesn't know about t --
rochrox: VANCYON!
Vancyon: What?!
rochrox: There is no script.
Vancyon: Oh. I knew that.
rochrox: Of course you did. Anyways, if you'll refer to page 7 in the script . . .
Vancyon: WHAT SCRIPT.
rochrox: *rolls eyes* Why did I get myself into this?
Vancyon: Oh! I get it!
rochrox: No . . . no, I don't think you do. But I do think the readers are probably getting sick of this so . . .
Vancyon: Page 7! Found it!
rochrox: What? But I was only . . .
Vancyon: We're supposed to talk about Upper Clements!
rochrox: Oh, right. Well, if you're really going to be that persistent, then talk about the park!
Vancyon: Erm . . .
rochrox: Now you see why I was avoiding it? Upper Clements is an amusement park in Nova Scotia. What else is there to say Vancyon?
Vancyon: Uhm . . . IT HAS A WHOLE ROLLERCOASTER!
rochrox: Whoot.
Vancyon: And a Merry-Go-Round *giggles*
rochrox: Anything else?
Vancyon: Bumper cars :)
rochrox: Well, Vancyon, thank you for that insightful information. Unfortunately Vancyon has to leave now . . .
Vancyon: What! I do not!
rochrox: Thank goodness for time zones, eh?
Vancyon: But it's not even --
rochrox: *glares*
Vancyon: *gulp*
rochrox: Until next time, this has been rochrox --
Vancyon: and Vancyon! See you next week for another edition of Eh!
rochrox: Well, I'll be seeing you next week that is, Vancyon will just be reading the article. *click*
Vancyon: Oh, don't worry, Vancyon shall return. Maybe not next week, but ooh, I'll be back >:} *click*
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Now it's so quiet . . . so peaceful . . .
For those people who think THEY'RE lame, I, the article, out of embarrassment will provide you with information they were supposed to include, but didn't.
The bluenose is on the side of the Canadian dime. Now, if you remember, Vancyon was called a bluenoser. The Bluenose was designed in Lunenburg by Smith and Rhuland. Legend has it that Smith and Rhuland was a shipyard. Anyway, the original Bluenose sank another was built and blah blah blah blah blah . . . !
Upper Clements is the biggest amusement park in Nova Scotia. Sadly, it has a total of under 30 rides, including a flume ride and roller coaster.
Lastly, Rodney McDonald is the premier of Nova Scotia. He was voted premier on Febuary 22, 2006. He is 36 (born in 1972), and plays the fiddle.
This has been Eh! The Canada Column with Eh! The Canada Column! *Click*
