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Author's Note: I wanted to share a story of how my life has drastically changed, and how I've come to accept that and the disapproval of those around me. This article is a true story of some of what has happened to me over the last year.
I graduated from high school last year at age 16, and I'm not in college right now. My decision shocked a lot of people because I was always considered to be one of the best and brightest (if not one of the valedictorians) of my class. This year has been simultaneously a nightmare and a total success. Sounds crazy right? Well I've spent most of the year simply relaxing and working at a restaurant as a hostess because where I live, you can't be a server until you're 18 years old.
In some ways, doing something I never would have done is very rewarding, and I really feel like I've grown up a lot this year, but on the other hand, I've alienated many of my friends and spawned disapproval from all sides. I only talk to three people outside of work, and even they (my two best friends and my friend since elementary school) often rag on me for not doing anything worthwhile with my life. They are all in college, two are close by, one is over 2000 miles away and only one of them has never done anything but support me in my decision to take time off and just breathe, and she's not even a part of my family.
Not that I'm complaining exactly, but I've learned how to tell them more eloquently why I'm doing what I'm doing. Instead of saying, "Hey that's just the way it is. I'm not in school and you'll just have to get over it," I say, "There are reasons that I took a year off, and while I have my doubts about it as well, I believe that it was the right thing to do," and then I explain my reasons. They are often more accepting and while they may not like it, they can understand why I chose to stray off the beaten path (in their eyes) and do something different. They are still by best and truest friends, but I am so disappointed at their reactions to someone who chooses a new path, especially when we've been friends for so long.
I can't say that I have friends here in the close vicinity without lying. Sometimes I feel that the people with whom I work are from another species than myself. In high school I was always in honors and AP programs and I never went out drinking and partying, but that is life as normal for most of the people at work. I can't count how many times I've been invited to go with them to some party or concert or to go hang out at someone's house. While it hasn't exactly made me very popular with them, I've denied every request, because they're not the type of people that I want to fit in with. Being a hostess or a server in a restaurant for the rest of my life has absolutely no appeal, nor do I want to be arrested for underage drinking and doing drugs. That is not to say that these people are horrible. They are actually quite nice, and they almost accept me . . . well they at least tolerate me enough not to rip my head off during the five hours we would spend together a day. I've tried to repress who I really am to them, so that they won't think any less of me, but I've recently realized that that is almost worse than telling the truth about myself.
I can solve a Rubik's cube. Well a few days ago, someone left their cube at work and it was being passed around the restaurant, everyone playing with it and trying to solve it. It soon was passed to me, and I decided that, hey, I like Rubik's cubes and I'm proud that I can solve one. So I did. The managers were impressed, but the other hostess there told me that while it was cool, I was also a total nerd. And you know what, that didn't even bother me, because I knew that it was almost true and that I am headed for something better than this job. I do still have to work with her for the next six months or so, until my 18th birthday.
Its okay to be different from everyone around you. And I don't mean just wearing different clothes and hanging out with other people, though I certainly have done that. People will disapprove of you, even some will who don't tell you outright, but that doesn't even seem important anymore, because I decided to change my life, not anyone around me.
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