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Now we all know losing a loved one is hard stuff, so I'm here to help you get through the pain. Have I ever lost someone you ask? Yes, I lost my older brother Nathan a long time ago. I know how hard it was to even get out of bed, so that is why I'm writing this.
Here are some helpful hints to ease the pain:
1. Now, some people are what others might consider are lucky, they haven't lost anyone yet. But everyone does, so if you just lost your father, mother, brother, sister, cousin or whoever, don't be jealous of people who still have unbroken families, like maybe your friends. This will only lead to you painting yourself into a lonely, dark corner. Instead, welcome friends even more into your life. No one can ever replace the one you lost, but friends are like great big band-aids. They help.
2. Do not ever let yourself be consumed by self pity. Self pity is like chocolate, it may taste good, but it is very bad to eat too much. Self pity leads to one thing and one thing only: self destruct. So, a few days or maybe even weeks after the death, it's okay to feel sad. It's okay to have emotional trauma. But years afterwards, self pity is what turns nice people into drunkards. Just don't do it.
3. Find a group to go to. I know what you are thinking all you guys reading this: "A group with a bunch of cry-babies and sobbing girls? Yeah right! My manly-man reputation would be ruined forever!" Right now, seeking help is way more important than a reputation. Also, when you're at the group, don't be afraid to let out the tears. Now I know everyone will tell you that, but it's true. Holding them in is so much worse.
4. Don't push away people who are trying to help. They can make you feel better. I had to learn this the hard way. When my brother died, all my friends wanted to do was keep me company. I wouldn't let them. After months of agonizing pain, I finally eased back into my friendships. Afterwards, I felt a lot better having people who genuinely cared about me.
5. Don't be afraid to live. Just because someone's life you knew is over, doesn't mean yours has to be, too. If someone asks you to play ball and you say no, (again, self pity) you are just making the pain worse. You aren't letting yourself have fun because you think you would be letting your dead friend down. Think about it, they would have wanted you to have fun doing things, not sitting around at home watching your lonely life go by. Trust me, if you have fun, it's not abandoning your friend, it's giving them a chance to rest in peace. Don't torture yourself.
If you need more help, please y-mail me. I hope this article helps.
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