A long time ago, there lived a beautiful Whyvillian named Genobeh Heboneg. She reported new things happening on Whyville as well as random things that nobody cares about. Ms. Heboneg has been out of the Times' watchful eye(s) for quite some time . . . but why? What really happened to our favorite talk show host?
I think we can all remember when the Entertainment section was simple; there were the amazing Funnies, our favorite SUDS, a PhonyFunny report sprinkled in from time to time, and the Genobeh Heboneg Show . . . people depended on these few celebrity stars, they were like the frosting on the cake (the cake being the Times), they were the syrup on the waffles (the waffles being the Times), they were the toothpaste on the toothbrush (the toothbrush being yo momma)- but soon, sooner than you'd imagine, the Entertainment section was being invaded by new comics!
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy "The Scion Stealing Ninja" just as much as the next guy; I love the comics - they give my simple mind a visual to analyze . . . but as these comics became more and more active, the old shows began to fade away.
Haven't you noticed that the Funnies has yet to make an appearance? Did you even know that SUDS' season has, sadly, ended? And did you realize that Genobeh vanished?
THE SAD, COLD TRUTH IS . . .
As new stars became active, nobody cared about poor Genobeh anymore . . . she stopped caring, stopped buying new face parts, refused to talk to her friends while taking a vow of silence all together . . . and the paparazzi LOVED it! Genobeh was a mess and she was on the cover of every magazine; luckily, me being the great agent I am, have managed to keep these photos off Whyville, but I think it is time to reveal them, so you understand how hard it is to be a . . . CHILD STAR!
Ms. Heboneg (On the left) looks dreadful, but not nearly as bad as that rhyme! As Genobeh was walking down the street, the notorious "popular" group, The Heathers, were totally dogging her, leaving her insecure and emotionally distraught. But, believe it or not, that was the best picture of the bunch!
Yes, I am fully aware that this picture may be inappropriate along with scarring you for life, but it is true! Genobeh Heboneg got out of the limo with NO . . . you guessed it! NO TOP ON! What Whyvillian in their right head would do such an awful thing? Did I mention this was at THE KIDS' CHOICE AWARDS? Sickening, I know . . . but it DOES get worse . . .
Genobeh was caught RED-HANDED driving with her child sitting ON HER LAP! Think about the dangers . . . think about the children!
Luckily, Ms. Heboneg has been checked into the nearest R.E.H.A.B. (Really Extravagant Has-beens Area, Boii) and will be released in two weeks. Let's hope that she learned her lesson; furthermore, let's hope that YOU learned your lesson . . . and what lesson may that be? Uh . . . hmm . . . well . . . uhhhh . . . THAT'S OUR SHOW EVERYBODY!
Cue Music and Applause,
Ushersg
