Author's Note: The title of this article is a song title so I give all credit to Relient K.
It's funny to look back and see how much I've changed in the past few years. Looking around me and thinking back to the way things were not so long ago, it's so weird. My clothes, my room, the music I listen to, even my friends have changed. And sometimes I hate when things or people change. But I think I've definitely changed for the better. I'm finally being me.
Back in sixth grade, the beginning of middle school, I don't think I knew how to do wrong. I was one of those goody two shoes who sucked up to my parents and never disobeyed them. We had just moved into a new house and I had the biggest room. I could decorate it however I wanted. And definitely regretting it now, I chose pink and white checkered wallpaper with a purple butterfly border. What can I say, it was five years ago, I was 11. I was a different person.
I wasn't the me I am today and I think I was being myself when I got that wallpaper. But later on in middle school I changed. A lot of my appearance and how I acted was influenced by the new friends I met. I begin watching MTV and VH1 nonstop. I don't think I actually liked it, I just wanted to watch what my friends were watching, I wanted to fit in more. I listened to rap and hip hop and whatever others listened to . I think maybe it was just easier if I had something in common with everyone else.
I begin to go into stores at the mall I never would have shopped at before. I went shopping with my new friends and bought things similar to what they were buying. I wore what they wore to school and I got my hair cut differently then I liked it. I wore makeup that probably didn't look very good and spent a lot more time than necessary on my appearance. I wasn't me and in the past couple years I've realized that.
I changed once but now I've changed again. Now I'm the real me. The me I should have been all along. Instead of watching MTV and VH1, I like FoodNetwork and TLC. So, maybe I don't know who won Tila Tequila, but I could probably cook better than most of the people I know and I've learned quite a bit about cake decorating, even won a couple contests. I might even be able to handle eight kids thanks to the help of Jon and Kate Plus Eight.
I dress the way I want which is usually casual and comfy and you'll find me with my hair most likely thrown in a bun or ponytail. I don't wear makeup like I did before, I don't believe I really need it. I'm comfortable with myself now and I'm beginning to realize I wasn't before. I hid behind all those things that granted me friends who didn't even like me for me.
Sadly, I still have the pink and purple wallpaper, and I still don't like it. But I think I've given it my own personal touch. It's now covered in clippings from magazines and posters of bands I like. Which by the way, my music taste has changed quite a bit. Instead of the rappers I don't even remember the names of, I like Backseat Goodbye and The Rocket Summer. Instead of being influenced by the world around me, I think I have a very unique music taste. Most of my friends don't like the bands I listen to but that's ok. It means I'm being me.
