"Hello?"
"Hello, I'm from the Society of Kitchen Appliances. We're taking a survey, and would like to know if your refrigerator is running."
"Yeah, it is."
"Well, you better go catch it!"
This sort of phone conversation is usually followed by the sound of laughter, and then nothing but the dial tone. All of a sudden, having your name in the phone book is a huge pain.
It's incredibly tempting to find every phone book in town and tear each one to pieces. Now, don't you start laughing maniacally! What would the neighbors think? Besides, you probably need a permit for that sort of thing.
So, go for the next best thing. Get every phone book in town and turn it into something else, so that none of those pranksters can bother you . . . at least, until they go to the yellow pages website. That's a whole different enchilada, though. For now, just try to keep up with me here.
Secret Stash
Using a paper-cutter (you may need an adult's help), remove the pages from the phone book. Make sure to put them in the recycling bin! Find an open cardboard box that's only slightly smaller than the phone book. Glue it, face up, to the inside of the back cover of the book. Then trim the box until you can close the book easily. Then place the hollow book on a shelf, and use it to hide things in plain sight.
Flower Fixer
Decorate the cover of the phone book however you would like to. The next time you see a flower lying on the ground, press it using two sheets of wax paper and wedge the paper between the pages of the book. After waiting about a week, remove the pressed flower. They look great on table settings, greeting cards, or collages.
Phony Phone Book
First, use some old gift wrap to cover the front and back cover completely. Using dark pen on white paper, neatly write a book title. You can try "Harry Potter and the Attack of the Rubber Ducks" or "To Mock a Killing Bird". Get creative! Add an illustration if it fits. Enjoy the looks on people's faces when they see you carrying it round with you. Just make sure nobody opens the book, or the illusion will be spoiled.
You could do all that . . . or just stick the books in the recycling bin. The latter is probably much more simple and takes less time, but then you'd miss the look of shock and horror on people's faces when they walk into your home and see pages from the phone book all over the place. Still, whatever floats your boat.
Credit for this week's idea goes to Morgan612. Thanks to everyone who's contributed a suggestion!
"Once there was an elephant
Who tried to use the telephant -
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone"
-Wicked777
Author's Note: Quote by Laura E. Richards. No copyright infringements intended.
