Author's Note: The lyrics from the song "What I've Done" by Linkin Park is mixed throughout the article.
A cold wind sweeps over me. Finally, after almost seven years it has reached me. The rain mourns death and the beat of Linkin Park sends chills up my spine. I close my eyes and fell the heat of embarrassment rise on to my pale face.
I never realized what truly happened that day. I was only 6 years-old.
In this farewell
There's no blood
There's no alibi
'Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies
A single blue sky.
I always thought they meant happiness, hope, love, joy, courage.
How can one blue sky be filled with so much death?
How can the gray concrete turn red and black in a matter of hours? How does someone change the perspective of your life in one day?
For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done
My feet hit the pavement outside. My wavy hair becomes flat and water is seeping through my clothes. I lay in my front yard, staring at the world around me. Tears and raindrops mix in my eyes. My fist hits the wet grass and I'm running down my street, barefoot. Fury filling my every footstep, hopelessness coming with every tear. The gray sky answers my timid call with a crack of thunder.
What have we done?
Fire rages through those empty streets.
Bodies fall from the sky and land on the ground.
Blood flows from their dead wounds, life gone from their eyes.
Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty
Dust fills the air, people falling to their knees, the dense air choking them.
Men and women rush in, saving hundreds from crushing rubble, fresh blood staining their uniforms a whole new color.
Blue skies disgust me.
If there's no hope in blue skies then what is life all about?
Not a drop of rain fell that day. But drops from the many who felt a life fall from their grip clean their dusty and dirty hands. But a hope did fill the streets. The hope of life. A feeling of courage filled the air, clearing the dust, making the bodies stop falling, clearing the rubble. But hate and fear overthrow the love and joy, never to be seen again in that little section of the city.
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
My thoughts are carried back to where I stand. It seems no one is coming outside in my neighborhood. I stand alone in the pouring rain. My hair is in wet strands by my cheeks and I feel water running down my wet clothes. The wind picks up and I can hear "What I've Done" ringing in my ears.
Wiping raindrops from my eyes, I look into the dark clouds.
Even God is silent.
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart.
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven. - "Heaven" by DJ Sammy
Author's Note: I don't usually explain my articles but I feel the need to do this in this one.
This article was completely inspired and written while listening to "What I've Done" by Linkin Park. I wanted this article to reflect on how I feel about 9/11. "What I've Done" helped me realize, I wasn't sad, just angry at the world. How could this even happen? I ran outside when Hurricane Hanna was sending tons of rain to PA. I just cried and ran. It was pouring outside and when I came inside I sat down and wrote this. I understand this was sent in early and that there are a lot of pictures and quotes, but where would my story be without them?
