Author's Note: I know that my column has been in and out of the paper lately, and it will probably be this way for at least a while. I know this is really no excuse, but I've been extremely busy lately, with homework, soccer, and babysitting, and it's really hard for me to find time to write it. I apologize for any editions of the Times in which this column is missing.
Do you ever wonder what things are made of? I periodically examine the contents of my cabinets, closets, and sometimes even journey into below the kitchen sink. As I look at these objects of wonder, I put on my thinking cap and try to find out what they're made of. One object in particular I've been contemplating: baby oil.
Now of all the oils I've seen in my life, you can usually tell what they are composed of by simply reading their names. Corn Oil: made of corn. Olive Oil? Olives. Vegetable oil? Vegetables. Baby oil kind of throws me for a loop. According to the name . . . it should be made from, well, babies.
Morgan612: If corn oil is made of corn and vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what is baby oil made of?
Ocean10kv: Hmmm . . . My bus driver asked me this same question and my answer was that they take all the baby vegetables and mash 'em up and mix them together. Thus we have "baby oil".
Kandie111: I think that back in the day, it was made from ground-up infants. But now, they have all of those child abuse laws, so they've resorted to using high-grade mineral oil.
Lildes13: Baby snot of course
Ps2man1: Baby tears.
It's hard to imagine that baby oil possibly be made from babies . . . but I'm glad I have these Whyvillians to clear up the picture for me. Maybe it's made from baby vegetables. Or snot . . . or tears . . . or it USED to be made from babies until they changed the law. Let us find an answer.
Well, it looks like Kandie111 is in fact correct. Well, except for the it used to be made from ground-up infants thing. It's made from mineral oil, and other types of oils, along with a few ingredients I can't pronounce. So there we have it folks, baby oil is actually NOT made from babies. Thank goodness!
Thanks for reading, this has been yet another . . . Wait! Stop Mr. Busdriver! Please? *English accent* Oh blast, I missed the bus.
