"Are you different?
Could I be different, too?
Nobody knows you.
Nobody knows you like I do." - The Classic Crime
A lot of people are searching and looking for answers. They don't know who they are and they don't know where they're going in life. I used to be one of them.
I get it now.
After years and years of being lost, hating who I am, and always wishing to be someone else, I finally get it.
I was so busy trying to be happy by trying to fit in or copy other people who were happy and seemed like they had it all figured out. It never worked. I was so busy being everything but myself, I forgot who I was. I hated who I was. I didn't even know who I was.
But in the past year I've figured it all out. I've created myself. I set goals, I set standards. I basically just got it all together.
There was never an epiphany. It didn't happen like that. It took some time. There was a time when I made myself sit down and write what I liked about myself, what I hated about myself and what I wanted to see in myself. I have to be honest, it was hard at first. That's when I realized I didn't even know who I was and I needed to change that.
"Don't listen to them when they say
This is the way that you are." - The Classic Crime
There's people in my life who constantly bring me down. They say where they think I'll be in a few years, and they say it as a fact. As if it's already written in stone and that there's no other possibilities. I don't want that. I won't have that. I'm not just gonna sit back and let my life write its own story. I'm giving it all to God and He'll direct me to exactly where I need to be.
I refuse to fall into other people's stereotype of me. They will not limit me any longer. They're wrong and I'm proving it everyday. I won't let them say, "This is the way that you are."
I want to make a difference and I will. I have a voice and people are going to hear it. I know what I stand for and I'm going to set an example. How? That's up to God to reveal to me in His timing. God's plan will make me completely happy and content if I follow it. And I know I probably won't be completely happy unless I'm singing and people are hearing me. I'm the kind of person that needs music to be surrounding them, so I'll shoot for that. I also tried my shot at acting before I really knew who I was and I'm so glad nothing came of it, I would have changed into anything they wanted to see. But not now, they either like me for the exact way I am or they just don't like me. I'm going to try it again in the near future, now that I'm strong in myself. And if it's meant to be, God will let it happen.
I've learned that it's impossible to be yourself for someone else. You just have to be yourself for yourself. If people don't like me for it, then I wouldn't want them liking me anyways. Why does it even matter? What could them accepting you possibly get you? Happiness? No, you won't be happy until you're true to yourself. A friend? Not a true one. And as for me, I don't want a friend unless they're true. I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.
And as for labels? They're lame. I'm not emo, I'm not punk, I'm not scene, I'm ME. I don't care what you say or what you think, but the way someone dresses does not define who they are. It can express a part of you, but it shouldn't limit yourself. I wear what I like. You can label it whatever you please, but just so you know, it doesn't define everything about me.
I know who I am. And I'm extremely happy about it. I know exactly where I'm going in life, and I won't stop until I get there. It's impossible for me to change now, but I wouldn't change even if I could. I know my faults, but instead of hating myself for them, I've accepted them and am constantly working to improve. God has a plan for my life just waiting to unravel itself. I'm not just another person wandering aimlessly in the world. I'm different. I'm me.
"I'm not a wannabe;
I'm who I wanna be
and I intend to be
how You created me" - Hawk Nelson
You know I love ya to death,
-Andrea
