I hear it every single day. In class and out of class. At lunch and after lunch. I hear it from my peers and from my teachers. They compare the size of my arms to their own. They wave food at me and tell me to eat. Teachers comment, "If you get any skinnier . . ." I put up with it all. Did I mention my nickname? It's Ashorexic. But I'm not anorexic.
In my town, being skinny is just wrong. It's more accepted to have a little more weight. I just don't understand. I get along with everyone and help out as much as I can. Why will you hug me, and then tell me to eat? You are my friend, but you don't understand. Thanks, I'm skinny. But I'm not anorexic.
How do I prove you wrong? What am I supposed to say to that? I may be lanky, skinny, boney, or whatever. But, just like you, I look in the mirror every day. I know what I am. I'm not anorexic.
I've been called up to the counselor to talk about my "body issues" several times. My parents have been called because I'm underweight. At family outings, people are always putting extra food on my plate. I hear the whispers. I'm still not anorexic.
I might be on the scale sometimes, but I'm at the doctor. I eat more than both of your parents. I say, "Oh I'm so fat, " and I laugh afterwards. I've never broken a bone, and that makes you crack jokes. Hey guess what! I'm not anorexic.
I run or jog everyday. I don't think my body is perfect. I check the food labels and the calories. I have trouble finding clothes that fit. You guessed wrong. I'm not anorexic.
Hey Ashorexic! Oh my, how much do you weigh? Ashley, the counselor wants to see you. You look like you need another helping. Do you eat? How do you find clothes? Do you run everything off? Counting calories again? Oh she's anorexic.
No matter what name I'm called, how many times I get called up to the counselor, or how much food is on my plate, I know who I am. I'm not anorexic, and I won't be tomorrow. Understand? I don't need your labels or your pet names. I'd do anything to show you that I'm not what you think. Listen up. When you make fun, this is how I feel. This is how anyone feels. Don't throw words around, they hurt.
I'm crying out. Get it?
Taffii
