Most people who come on Whyville are preteens or young adults, attending late elementary school, middle school, or high school. That is, incidentally, around the time that quite a controversey comes up: dating.

Some people start "dating" in elementary school, and have had a "boyfriend/girlfriend" by fourth grade. Others wait until middle school, and even then it could be questioned as to whether it's really dating or not. By high school, your peers expect you to date, and those who wait until they're sixteen or eighteen because of parents, religion, or simply free will are pitied and considered unlucky.

So is dating good, or bad? When's the right age to date? What exactly is a "date"? In this article, all questions will be addressed. Let's start out with a few interviews, then get some actual definitions, and finalize it after . . .

Let's see what frooface, a high school girl has to say:

casc302: What do you think is the right age to start dating?
FrooFace: I think that 16 is because it's kind of embarrasing to have your parents drive you around.
casc302: What do you think is the right age to be in a serious relationship?
FrooFace: I think that when you're emotionally ready for that kind of commitment, then that's when. And when you have enough time for it.
casc302: What do you consider some ups and downs of dating? Is it good or bad?
FrooFace: Well some ups to dating is that it makes you more confident about yourself. A down is getting dumped, haha. That isn't fun at times ;o. I think dating, overall, is good.
casc302: Finally, what exactly is does it mean to be "dating"?
FrooFace: Dating is when you're committed to that person and you don't go around flirting with other guys or girls. It's when you and that other person have an agreement in a way that you're going to stay together.

Next let's talk with LoveYew, a middle school guy:

casc302: What do you think is the right age to start dating?
LoveYew: I think it depends on how serious you are. If you're still immature and always talking about how hot your boyfriend/girlfriend is compared to other guys/girls you shouldn't date. You should wait until you know you love them. If the relationship lasts and you went out with him/her for their looks you will end up unhappy when their looks fade.
casc302: What do you think is the right age to be in a serious relationship?
LoveYew: I think 16 is a good age to start dating because you're more mature and you start to realize it doesn't matter about looks.
casc302: What do you consider some ups and downs of dating? Is it good or bad?
LoveYew: I really don't like dating. There are more downs than ups. First you have to worry about if they like you. If they don't, it's extremly embarrasing when they turn you down. Next you have to worry about them if they love you, or if they're cheating on you or maybe they are just using you for your stuff and reputation. The only up's are when they say yes to go out with you and never having to be alone. casc302: Finally, what exactly is does it mean to be "dating"?
LoveYew: I think dating means you truly love someone and they love you back. Dating is spending time together and seeing what it would be like to get married to them.

Now let's see what a middle school girl has to say:

casc302: What do you think is the right age to start dating?
AsProXsoX: 6th or 7th grade.
casc302: What do you think is the right age to be in a serious relationship?
AsProXsoX: 18.
casc302: What do you consider some ups and downs of dating? Is it good or bad?
AsProXsoX: Ups: the love you get. Downs: getting heartbroken.
casc302: Finally, what exactly is does it mean to be "dating"?
AsProXsoX: A tight/close relationship between two people; something nothing can break (usually).

Shall we consult the dictionary? A "date", by definition is . . .

date; n:
1. An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.
2. One's companion on such an outing.

So wouldn't that mean that to be "dating" you'd actually have to go on dates with that person? What a revalation! Yet in today's society, everything get's twisted and tilted until it means something different. Hm. Let's see if we can piece it all together . . .

When to start dating
Clearly everyone has different tastes and values in dating, and when it's okay to start. Overall, casual dating generally starts around late middle school and early high school, while serious relationships appear in later high school years. But ultimately you have to decide when it's right for you to date, and nobody else can decide that for you. Don't buy into peer pressure -- just because your friends are dating, doesn't mean you have to! If you decide to start dating, make sure you actually like the person. I know that may seem obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people don't bide by it.

Dating: good or bad?
Dating can be considered a very healthy activity. It encourages social interaction and develops trust between two people. Doctors actually think it's better for young adults to date than not. But it can get unhealthy. If your partner gets obsessive, overly jealous, or harmful, they could be abusive. If that happens to you, talk to someone right away. Apart from that, dating is great -- until you break up. Make sure you're prepared to get hurt; if you're not, dating isn't for you, yet. But with the hurt comes a wonderful experience.

What exactly is the definition of dating? Of boyfriend/girlfriend? Of "going out"?
Dating, or "going out", from what I gather at my school is when two people share an intrest in each other, and might occasionally go on dates, but whether they're exclusive or not is debatable. In today's society, being boyfriend or girlfriend usually happens right away. Personally, I think it happens after a month or so of dating, when you're ready to be exclusively commited, but everyone has a different view. The definition of all of this is something you should definitely make sure you specify with your partner before getting too involved -- it makes it so much easier if you know what's going on.

And the age old question, to date or not to date?
It sounds like you should date when you like someone and they like you back. When you have your parents permission and you have somewhere to go or something to do with that person. You should date when you have established what a date is. You should date when you're ready for it yourself. You should date when you are mentally mature enough, and emotionally ready. You should date when you trust the person you would date, and when they trust you back. Those are all things to decide for yourself, which means that dating is entirely relative to each person, and peer presure should never be involved.

So remember, decide these things for yourself, and make sure you're ready before you start, or it may end up a little bit bad.

[Insert witty sign off here],
casc302